lonewanderer | contact;; aefenglom

Well, he- he never meant for me to find out. Somehow I didn't realize that he's liked me for months and he was just... never going to tell me. I accidentally saw a letter from his brother that said he should and I- blurted it out, asking if it was true.

I said I thought I liked him too, which I guess came off badly, because he asked me to leave and told me I should take time to think about it and-

[He pauses to get a breath, and then finishes lamely,] Now I'm thinking about it. Also I'm engaged.

[ it's a good thing this is audio because lex is facepalming so hard at both of you right now ]

So, you like each other. You also like someone else, who you're engaged to back home. And you feel guilty about it? Am I right?

[Honestly it's a facepalm worthy situation. Also she never minces words or gestures so he can make a guess.] Yes? That- that about sums it up, yeah.

Someone said I needed to- to end things with one or the other but... I don't want anything to end with either of them.

Well you can't exactly end things with someone who isn't here. That's stupid advice. [ Said matter-of-factly, and with no small amount of scorn directed at whatever idiot told Hiccup that. ]

Honestly? We don't know if we'll go back, or if we'll see anyone from home here. Find happiness while you're here, Hiccup. [ Her voice is a little sad, but there's hope there, too. ] And if your fiance comes... there's no rule saying you can't be happy with both of them, if they're okay with that.

[That would be Gwen, and sort of Dany.] Right, thank you, that's- that's not something I even could do, with Astrid not here, not that I want to end things with Astrid, we're engaged-

[His mouth shuts with an audible click, aware he's starting to ramble again the way he does when he's anxious. Her advice starts to sink in, and honestly, it's... it's sound. It makes sense.] You're- you're right. We're not really any closer to getting home. I haven't seen anyone from Berk show up here. I don't think I ever will.

You don't think it'd make me a bad person if I wanted to be with him? While we're both here? The last couple weeks has made me realize that I- I don't want to lose him.

[ SHE SAID WHAT SHE SAID. ]

For all intents and purposes, we're in another life. If we go home again, we might not remember this one. If we don't... then we don't, and we can't just wait for that possibility. Not when it might never happen.

[ She knows Hiccup wants to go home, even if Lex doesn't. He has things he has to do. But if he can't force it to happen... doesn't he deserve some happiness here, while he can get it? ]

I don't think it makes you a bad person. I think there are plenty of worse things that people do that make them bad people, and this doesn't even come close.

[ There's a soft smile on her face, and while Hiccup may not be able to see it, he may be able to hear it. ] I think it makes you human. I want you to be happy, Hiccup. And at the end of the day... I want you to have something worth fighting for.

Do you think we really don't remember? I guess that would- would make sense. Wow. [He's actually never thought about it before. Newt had witnessed part of his life in the mirror, and had never made mention of anything being altered by his time here in Aefenglom, though.

It's hard not to choke up a little, though, when she says such nice things. Understanding things. His voice is a little thick with emotion when he finally answers after a few moments of quiet.] ...Thank you. I- I am, you know. Even if none of this works out, I've still got some incredible friends to keep fighting for. [The implication is clear - that Lex is one of them, that she means the world to him.]

I think... I'm going to go for it. Wish me luck?

Eren- went back, or sat in front of the mirrors, or whatever. He didn't say anything about remembering.

[ Awwwww, Hiccup. When Lex answers, her own voice is a little thick. ]

Good luck, Hiccup. Tell me what he says?

Yeah, I remember that. He mentioned it. Newt has too, and- I guess he didn't remember anything either. I don't know why I didn't think about it. [Because his head is full of pettier problems right now most likely. He's a dumb 21 year old who just fell in love for only the second time in his life.]

Of course I will. [He lets out a laugh.] You'll- you'll know if I show up at your place a mess, it probably didn't go well. [But he still wants to be optimistic. He does.

And then much later, on the 10th, she'll get another call, Hiccup's voice colored with a disbelieving laugh.]

Hey. So. So it went.

[ Disbelieving laughter is better than Hiccup showing up at her place a mess, and Lex is answering immediately, all cautious, optimistic hope. ]

It went?

[ Tell her more, Hiccup! He can't see it, but her fox ears are perked. ]

We're- uh, we're... we're together now. [He's still processing, a little bit. Things went surprisingly okay, considering what kicked this all off.] We finally talked, and- and I didn't completely blow it somehow? [Another laugh.]

Turns out I didn't... have to worry, about whether or not my- engagement, would bother him. He's got someone back home too. And things could change, but- for now, we're just- we're figuring it out.

Good.

[ She sounds pleased - is pleased - for him. For both of them. ]

I don't know about you, but I think "just figuring it out" covers kind of my entire life, [ Lex giggles. ] But let me know if you want to celebrate? I mean, once you two are like... not all over each other and all.

[Hiccup sounds warm and embarrassed all at the same time when he answers with a laugh.] That's- that sounds fair. I feel like that's just how life is? All you can do is just- just figure it out as you go, right?

[And then he chokes. Just a little.] We're- we're not 'all over each other'! That's- this is all really new! He's shy! [Which is funny because Newt has close to ten years on Hiccup and he's less experienced.]

And sometimes we don't even figure it out, we just end up on the other side okay, [ with an amused snort. ]

You're all over each other with your eyes, [ Lex says sagely. ]

I guarantee that's- that one's probably thanks to good friends. [He isn't sure he could have managed without completely blowing things, without a little fine advice from his friends, especially Lex.

He laughs, flustered but happy.] What- we are not! How is that- there is no way you've even seen us making eyes at each other.

Oh yeah? Try me. [ GRINNING. SO WIDELY. ]

Come over for dinner sometime and then I will prove that we are not all over each other with our eyes.

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